The Harlequin Aesthetic

So I wrote a long post about something serious.

In this entry:
Rihanna, Chris Brown, domestic violence, sex, religion, forgiveness… and birthday cake.

I might be desensitised to a lot of shit - violence, gore, you name it; but domestic abuse will never stop making me feel nauseous.

A lot of people find themselves in these situations, or know someone who is/has been a victim to domestic violence - I’m no excuse - but no matter how sadly common it is, it’s something which will never fail to cause an uproar - especially when it involves someone who has a lot of impressionable young fans.

When that photograph of Rihanna went viral in 2009, it shattered a lot of illusions. A pretty young woman from Barbados who was, other than her fame, so average and could basically be anyone, bloodied and bruised like that… I think you’d be stuck to find anyone who’d still have a leg to stand upon in defense of her ex-boyfriend, Chris Brown. Of course the hardcore fangirl/groupies still had the gall to dish hatred out on Rihanna, but these were a minority of delusional morons. Yes, there are two sides to every story, and even I think I’d like to beat people up myself when they piss me off enough; however, there is little excuse for a man to ever do that to a woman. Anyone who knows me is fully aware that I don’t normally take sides with women since they generally annoy the living fuck out of me, but there is absolutely no honour in humiliating her by reducing her into a by-product of your god-given strength. So to speak.

It’s not secret that males are born with a naturally higher ability to cause destruction. Testosterone is a pretty dangerous thing. What separates boys from men is how the latter learn to control theirs. Therefore it is impossible to call anyone who beats up a woman, a man. Only boys play puppet to their hormones.

Of course there is a grey area in this violence-against-women debate which I’m going to approach, and that topic is of sado-masochism. As a psychology student, I have this sneaking suspicion (though I’ve not studied it enough to base this in any fact) that women who find themselves the victim of domestic abuse, are more inclined to find sexual gratification in the act of masochistic behaviour. It’s actually one of the topics I’m thinking of exploring for my third year project, since I can personally relate. But this isn’t about me.

So some might argue - especially in this case since Rihanna blatantly has the same fetish, having even released a song on the subject and dressing in a manner very appropriate to the BDSM culture - that if a woman is a masochist, then surely she should enjoy being beaten up by her partner. To this, I say simply: No, and you are a fucking moron.

Sex and violence is an incredibly complicated thing, and if anyone finds it difficult to draw the line, then evidently they are not mature/intelligent to act like they understand it. Such people should steer clear of relationships altogether, let alone be allowed to attempt S&M.

I brought that into the discussion purely because I know a lot of people were most unimpressed by the song when it was released, feeling as if it made Rihanna a hypocrite. I admit, I too was a confused at first, but then when she started adopting a more fetishist style I acknowledged that, surely, this is completely unrelated to domestic violence. She’s singing about sex, people. She’s developed this masochistic personna or whatever, and that doesn’t necessarily make her a hypocrite. What has made her a hypocrite however, is getting back with Chris Brown, from what the public knows about the situation.

Shortly after (well, a fair few months after if you want to get technical) the incident in 2009, Rihanna spoke on TV about her ordeal. She sat there, and very bravely poured out her heart about how she never wanted anyone to know that she could ever fall in love with “someone like [Chris Brown]” - as in to say that she found it a personal disgrace that she put her needs second to that of someone who thinks it’s acceptable to beat up a woman. Then Chris Brown made a public apology about how he let himself down more than anyone else, and that he feels like he should have known better since he grew up in a domestic violence environment and never wanted to turn out that way. He also emphasised how he’d been speaking with loved ones and spiritual leaders about his failings, and was working with them to become a better person.

To most people - and, particularly his crazy fangirls (because let’s face facts, Chris Brown is a very sexy guy okay) - this was an easy fix, and I imagine he won a lot of people back after that announcement. But to be brutally honest, when you have someone so attractive and talented, forgiveness comes a lot easier; most people were waiting for any excuse to go back to being able to call themselves fans without having to be challenged. I wish I could forgive him, since I quite enjoy watching him perform, but I digress. Since he made this apology and said he knows what he did was wrong, surely he’s not really the monster people painted him out to be? Why not let by-gones be by-gones now? Old news, get with the programme; if Rihanna can forgive him, why can’t everybody else? Blah blah fricken blah…

Personally, his apology left a really nasty taste in my mouth. As sincere as he might have been deep down, his main redeeming point reveals him to be quite lax about his own reformation. He was pretty intent on making it clear that he’s been seeking help from spiritual leaders. He mentions it a number of times, and I imagine that got him a lot of respect points from the more religious of his fans.

But let’s make something ABSOLUTELY clear here: spiritual leaders are not personality reformation tools. They’re SPIRITUAL leaders. What Chris Brown has is not a spiritual issue, but a very serious underlying anger problem. Perhaps he isn’t a monster and simply a victim to his own weakness in that sense, but the fact that he thinks it’s sufficient to pray with someone to make his bad behaviour go away… well, that’s just fucking laughable and he’s an actual joke.

If he really was so disappointed in himself, maybe he would have tried harder to reform, instead of going for the same cop-out bullshit that so many fucking people do, in going to a priest or a teacher or whatever, and saying “Father, I have sinned.” Cool yeah, you want your God to forgive you; that’s respectable. But if you think that the forgiveness of a deity is the be-all and end-all, then you have much to learn and I actually fucking pity you. Feel free to talk with your spiritual advisors, but if you really took your problems seriously, you’d go to anger management classes or see a counsellor, and do some ACTUAL fucking work to rectify your bad habits. Or is that too much fucking work to fit into your busy schedule of being escorted from A to B in expensive cars, drinking champagne and shagging groupies?

That is precisely why I don’t think Chris Brown has earned his forgiveness. And I despair to see so many of his fans thinking that he’s done enough when he has done the bare minimum.

So, I rewatched these interview last night, after listening to one of the new Rihanna/Chris Brown songs. The lyrics are, as follows: